My heart is bursting!

I just had a Please Lord let this moment be forever etched in my heart and mind.  My child came to hang out with me (after his brothers were all tucked in for the night) and told me that he liked a girl at school and could he ask her out on a date.  He told me they had gone to elementary school together and that they had several classes together this year and sometimes eat lunch and hang out together.  I quickly sent up a prayer asking God for guidance in what to say and asked him what he thought a date was.  He said he wasn't sure, but he knew he liked her and wanted to go out.  I told him that I thought that talking on the phone would be okay, inviting her to church would be okay.  He told me she already goes to church and where she went.  We talked about that even if she went somewhere else he could invite her to a special event.  He seemed pleased with this, thank you Lord!  I than got to tell him how much I love him and that I LOVED how he could trust me with his heart this way. I love him so much, my heart feels like it is going to burst.  I can't stop the smile that is on my face but also feel like I am going to cry because my little boy is turning into a young man.  Oh, how this momma's heart is praying for God's guidance in raising a Godly man. A man who has God's heart.  This is a moment I will store up and treasure in my heart.

Joanne

It has been awesome to read about the wonderful things that God is doing in Joanne's life.  Last night she tweeted (am I saying that right?) for the first time and has now posted on her blog!  AMAZING!!!  She has a long road ahead of her but with God All things are possible.  I am praying daily for Joanne, Toben (her husband), Audrey (12 year old daughter), and Emma (10 year old daughter).  Her sister Kristin is a fabulous photographer and has been updating her blog KH Photography with not only gorgeous photos that bring me to tears, but a beautiful heart that walks you through the journey that God is bringing their family through. 
 Thank you Lord for these families.  I ask that as they walk through this valley that Your presence is felt so strongly.

Bread of Angels

I am reading a Jan Karon book called These High, Green Hills which is fabulous.  In Chapter Two it talks about Bread of Angels.  Such a beautiful illustration of God's love.

Exodus 16 tells us about Moses, Aaron, and the Israelites making a trek through the wilderness from Egypt.  They had a need for food and God miraculously provided their needs, manna.  Every day, all they had to do was gather it.  Psalm 78:25 called it the bread of angels.  How beautiful are those words.

Jan Karon uses this scripture to describe and illustrate marriage.  Every day, with what seemed to be no effort at all on his part, he received God's extraordinary provision of contentment-there it was waiting for him at every dawn; all he had to do was gather it in.    

Those words hit me fresh.  A reminder to my soul that God HAS and WILL always provide for my needs.  Whether it be my physical or mental, He is always there.  I have His word available to me at my fingertips, I just need to pick it up to read it.  I can communicate with Him daily by just praying.  I can have His words engraved in my heart by my committing my thoughts to scripture memorization.  I can have sweet fellowship with Him by doing these things daily, refreshing myself in His love. 

The question for myself is why do I sometimes allow myself to get caught up in the daily grind and not always refresh myself with the bread of angels?  He longs to feed me. 

Lord, help me to long for Your living Word.  Help me to eat daily the bread of angels.  Help me to not get caught up in all that is going on around me, but rather help me to come to Your feet daily getting fed from Your Word.

Grief

Grief.....  Grief is something that grips your heart, clenches your soul and makes it hard to catch your breath.  Your stomach drops every single time you allow your mind to think, to dwell.  You get a tickle in your throat and your eyes burn before they fill with tears that stream almost unnoticed down your face.  Your head and heart ache.  Ache.  Confusion. Questions. Why?  Grief freezes time.  It hits everyone.

Today, I found out one that I love dearly has Cystic Fibrosis.  My heart aches.  Tears flow freely.  Questions come abundantly.   Grief. 

Today,  I found out that I do not have breast cancer-right now.  I will play the wait game and come back in the summer to have the lumps re-evaluated.  Many tests will need to be re-done and assessed.  Yet still I have  Joy supressed.  Rejoicing in spirit, my heart is full.

Thank you Father that during trials and tribulations, during turmoil, heartache and despair, YOU are there.  Let Your Mighty Name be on my heart, mind and lips.  Direct my path. 

Romans 5:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Psalm 143:8
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift my soul."

Romans 12:12
"Rejoice in Hope.  Be patient in tribulation.  Be constant in prayer."

Mixed CD

I received my first mixed CD from my oldest son this week.  He has no idea how much he delighted this momma's heart by thinking of me and doing such a simple act.  So thoughtful, so kind.  Without me even asking!!!  This brought back sweet memories of my teenage years where I spent many happy hours making and listening to playlists of music I loved.  Oh how my heart is singing along with these songs as I bebop along in my car.  Tyler you ROCK!!

                                      

Prissy Dog

I have two boxers who are a sweet part of my family.  I gave them a bath earlier on in the week and they were both in a little piece of heaven getting their hair blown dry.  They actually push one another out of the way to see who can get closest to the warm air being blown on them.  Sami, I call my big priss.  ALL girl.  Being the only female in my house and not a girly-girl, I find it funny to have a dog that absolutely loves to be pampered. She loves to be brushed, petted, groomed - anything that involves loving on her.  Well, after she had her bath and while I was drying her I had what I thought was a great idea and just something fun and different.

Sami's first pedicure ~ Red nail polish of course!

My sweet Sami allowed me to paint her nails... what color?  RED for Valentine's of course!  My boys and hubby were horrified when she came out of the bathroom and realized what I had done to her. This got me thinking to next month with Saint Patrick's Day.... I've already bought GREEN polish and I am ready.  My oldest son is in denial with a big smile on his face.  These are funny tender moments for which I am so grateful.

Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope ~ Mary Beth Chapman

In October I was able to attend the Women of Faith conference in Tampa Florida.  I was blessed by the speakers and music, and was brought to tears by the Chapman family.  For whatever reason God has chosen to take their daughter Maria home to Heaven much earlier than what ANY parent would imagine. Mary Beth was able to speak at the conference and share a little about the journey that God has taken them on while Steven Curtis sang a song from his new album while their sons performed.    I left the auditorium that day touched by the sincerity and raw emotion from this family. 
I bought her book and Steven's CD Beauty Will Rise from the convention, but you can purchase it from her website here. 

Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope ~ Mary Beth Chapman.

I've told my kids for years that God doesn't make mistakes," writes Mary Beth Chapman, wife of Grammy award winning recording artist Steven Curtis Chapman. "Would I believe it now, when my whole world as I knew it came to an end?" Covering her courtship and marriage to Steven Curtis Chapman, struggles for emotional balance, and living with grief, Mary Beth's story is our story--wondering where God is when the worst happens. In Choosing to SEE, she shows how she wrestles with God even as she has allowed him to write her story--both during times of happiness and those of tragedy. Readers will hear firsthand about the loss of her daughter, the struggle to heal, and the unexpected path God has placed her on. Even as difficult as life can be, Mary Beth Chapman Chooses to SEE. Includes a 16-page full color photo insert.

I LOVED both the book and the CD.    Both are a beautiful testament of a family who is grounded, loves and lives for the Lord.  Mary Beth and Steven Curtis are so genuine in their writing and allowing the depth of their emotions to be expressed so honestly.  Mary Beth allowed me to SEE that God can and will use anything for His glory.  The book had me laughing from one moment and crying in the next.  This is a book that while reading I suggest having a box of tissues with you.

Since I have finished reading, my book has been passed on to three different friends who all agree with me that this is a book you will not want to pass on reading.  If you have not had the chance to read it, make the time  -- it will be well spent.

Daniel 2:20

"Daniel answered and said, "Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever, for wisdom and power belong to Him."

Prayer

This year I am intentionally going to the feet of Jesus every day in prayer at what ever hour He calls me too. He took my prayer serious and I woke up burdened to pray. I have prayed specifically to God to bring people to mind my that have specific needs.  In this prayer area I will list prayer requests, needs and the best parts,,,,the answers.  God is faithful and I long to be used by Him,

So, today I am praying for Jennifer, Jenny Thompson.  She is a mom who has just turned 28 weeks pregnant.  She has been admitted in Anne Arrundel Hospital for the baby and her care,  She has a son named Jacob who is 4years old and who wants his momma. Jenny will have a long stay in the hospital until her little one is born and is stable.  Lord, please be with Jacob, Jenny and Daddy as they wait upon You and Your decision as to how soon their new little one will enter the world.  Lord, we ask for the baby to be healthy and strong.  We know that Your strength alone will bring them through the next few months.  We love you Lord.  In Your Name I pray, Amen.

Joanne

Joanne said "Black!"  Her first beautiful words since the coma. What a thrill to my heart and what JOY to her families.  Can you see me doing the happy dance!?!  Thank you Jesus!

Memory Monday

Romans 12:12

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Family time

I love my family!

Ryan

Cameron

Tyler

My darling husband, Randy

Ryan and Cameron having fun!

I am truly blessed!  Thank you Lord for days and moments such as these.

Rain

One of my favorite things to do is just to listen to the rain.  The soft patter, the dripping sounds it makes as it falls off of the eaves, the leaves, the bushes.  It is such a soothing sound.  I even love the smell of rain.  I have a porch swing out front that I love to sit in, bundled up with a fuzzy blanket, a cup of hot tea, and a book.  Sometimes I will read, and sometimes I will just sit and listen.  Thank you Lord for the rain and all of the joy it brings me.

God Almighty ~ Chris Tomlin

Like the water's roar
Is Your voice, O Lord
There is none before
And none beside.
Like the water's roar
Is Your voice , O Lord
There is none before
and none beside.
You are set apart.
You alone are God.
Your glory reaches far,
from sky to sky.
Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty
Early in the morning we will sing.
Holy, Holy, we bow down before Thee.
All Your children love to sing Your name,
God Almighty.
You're the breath of life.
You're the God on high.
Your song shall rise,
And never pass away.
O, Your Majesty,
Evermore shall be.
The earth, the skies, the sea
Shall bring You praise.
Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty.
Early in the morning we will sing.
Holy, Holy, we bow down before Thee.
All Your children love to sing Your name,
God Almighty.
God Almighty.
And I hide my eyes
With my face to the ground
In the presence of Your Majesty.
And I clap my hands
And I lay my crowns
In the presence of Your Majesty.
And I hide my eyes
With my face to the ground
In the presence of Your Majesty.
And I clap my hands
And I lay my crowns
In the presence of Your Majesty.
And I hide my eyes
With my face to the ground
In the presence of Your Majesty.
And I clap my hands
And I lay my crowns
In the presence of Your Majesty.
You are Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty
Early in the morning we will sing.
You are Holy, Holy, we bow down before Thee
All Your children love to sing Your name.
God Almighty.
God Almighty.

This song thrills me to my soul.  I have a hard time listening and not dropping to my knees in humble adoration to Him.  Covering my eyes, and rocking to the music.  Holy!  Holy!  Holy!
The violins!  OH!!!!!!!  I so wish I knew how to play, and play well.  It is just like they are straining to voice their praise as well.  I can't wait to hear the heavenly host praising and singing this song.

In Christ Alone ~ From Brian Littrell

In Christ alone will I glory, though I could pride myself in battles won.  For I've been blessed beyond measure, and by His strength alone I've overcome.  Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hand.  But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand. 
In Christ alone, I place my trust, and find my glory in the power of the cross.  In every victory, let it be said of me... my source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone. 
In Christ alone will I glory, for only by His grace I am redeemed.  And only by His tender mercy, could reach beyond my weakness to my need.  And now I seek no greater honor, in just to know you more.  And to count my gains but losses, to the glory of my Lord.
In Christ alone, I place my trust, and find my glory in the power of the cross.  In every victory, let it be said of me... my source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone.

Music

I LOVE music.  It is something that pierces my soul.  It puts me into a closer communion with God.  I can't wait to get to heaven to hear the singing, the instruments, the praises and adorations being sung to HIM.  Oh, how many times I have wished I had the talent of singing or playing an instrument.  I can sing passably, can play very little on the piano, but I do not possess the ability at all to be able to belt it out whenever I feel the urge...which is often.  When I am in the car though, and by myself, I often will sing at the top of my lungs and pray that no one I know drives by and sees me.  They would get a good belly laugh.  Some songs just make me pause and meditate on what God is teaching me through the words sung.  I am so thankful for the artists who have the talent and who are willing to share it by their music and instruments.   
So, under Music I am going to write the words of songs that have been speaking to me.

It's just coffee...

Yesterday, I heard crying from one of my boys telling me that he had accidentally spilled my full cup of coffee into my work bag.  It took about two seconds to register what he had said and than for me to be the bionic woman, (can you hear me running -cha, cha, cha, cha cha...) to see how bad the damage was.   Thankfully my laptop was not in the bag at the time. The mug had been taken out, but the full cup of coffee was still in the bag and dripping down and soaking into all of the documents.  Rahhhh......  I was so upset with him. [ Why couldn't he just grab something to sop up the spill?  It takes two seconds, to help fix the problem and it doesn't include standing there crying, not doing anything.  Is crying really going to help, nope- so stop.]  All of these words flew out of my mouth with so much frustration,  and it was all I could do to not sit and cry as I was literally pouring the bag into the trash and watching my full cup of coffee come out.  Painstaking I had to take each document, and wipe both sides dry.  Many of them will have to be redone.  My thoughts went to: [ugh...look at all of those hours wasted only to have to do them again.  He's old enough to know better.  He should have known to immediately grab a towel and call me as he was trying to dry it off. Not stand there crying.],  I was so disappointed in him.

 Having had time to calm down, I realize that God is teaching me a very big lesson.  I can just hear Him saying to me, Child, have you not made so many mistakes/accidents and have done nothing?  Still nothing?   Have I not had to painstaking watch while you did these over and over again, and have forgiven you each time?  Beloved, when will you learn?  Mercy- child, patience. Gentleness of spirit.
My head bows, as tears form and I pray Abba, Father, thank you for love, for Your forgiveness of sin.  That You are not quick to anger, and that You will never give up on me.  That.You.Love.me.

I know that I have countless lessons to learn as a child of God and that I will make innumerable mistakes. I am so thankful that I don't hear the frustration from God each time I do.  Lord, willing I will learn to not show my disappointment at a lesson not learned and will instead show mercy and look forward to the time the lesson will be learned.   I mean, after all, he was doing one of his chores... the trash can just accidentally tipped the coffee cup over into the bag at the side of the table while he was trying to take it out. It is. just. coffee.  God used just coffee.  Each morning I think I will look at my coffee with new eyes to see what God will be teaching me this day.  Maybe it will have to be from coffee again.  Hopefully not, hopefully it is a lesson learned.

Fog

This morning I woke up to fog banked on the snow covered ground.  Just beautiful.  Thank you God for allowing me to see the fingers of the fog flit between the trees and curl around the bushes on the ground.  Your landscape and the things You use to create in Your tapestry of nature again has me in awe of You.  I love you Lord.

Snow

Driving home from church on Sunday night, my youngest and middle son started a conversation on how very bright the snow was.  "MOM, we need glasses."  " It is SO bright it is hurting my eyes..."  "Why does God have the snow so bright?"  Great question and it started a conversation on how God loves us and that His love is pure white, unblemished.  He has no sin.  My boys thought that was pretty cool . I will never be pure white and unblemished.  I will always have a sin nature, but I will always have a Savior who loves and forgives me and is ever mindful to me to Shine Bright for Him...   Thank you Jesus.

Bible cover

So, I have a much loved on Bible.  I have had it since I was 13 years old and it was given to me by my parents.  It is my first Bible that I was allowed to high light in.  I was so proud with all of my multi colored highlighters ready to rip out of my Bible cover at any time I thought the pastor said anything important.  I also had a multi colored pen that I could pop up a color at any time to underline if necessary.  My Bible has notes written all over the pages from numerous sermons heard throughout the years, and is truly one of my most prized possessions.  My only fault that I have with it now is that I need to get it recovered.  My leather has ripped off along the seams and the binding is starting to tear the front cover of it.  I desperately need to find a place to have it done.  Preferably in an area that they do it on sight.  My DH told me that I will probably need to have it shipped away, but I really don't feel like I could bear that.  So, my prayer tonight is that God would bring to my attention a place where it will be taken care of.  I kept telling my honey that when I was younger, we would just go to Marantha Bible Book Store and they could bind your Bible for you while you shopped in the store.  And if you were lucky enough like I was, you could get your name embossed on the front of the leather cover also.  While I was waiting I would walk around in the big store and listen to Keith Green on big ole head phones.  Oh the sweet memories.  I need a Maranatha!

Blessed

I was blessed today listening to a momma tell me how her five year old daughter shares Jesus. Mom and daughter were at a Tractor Supply Store in town and the owner, having a daughter close in age, asked what school did attend and what was she learning there.  The daughter gave him the name of the school correctly and than told him that at school she learned about Jesus.  Somehow, I don't think that was the answer he was expecting but oh, how it brings a smile to my heart.  That night the same family went to a Chinese food restaurant where this child was delighted to be at because at school they had just finished a unit on China and had learned that not all places in China can you talk about Jesus, along with many other things.  This did not sit well with this child who was heartbroken that not everyone could learn about and love Jesus as much or as easily as she could.  Well, the waitress walked up to the table and with big beautiful eyes, the child asked, "Are you from China?"  "Yes", the waitress replied with a big welcoming smile on her face.  The smile grew bigger on the child as she asked, "Oh, do you know about Jesus?"  The waitresses smile faltered and she looked down at the child and kind of got a little smile back but brushed past the question with questions of her own about food.  All the adults at the table and close surrounding areas got quiet when they heard the question.  Proud parents with smiles of adoration looking upon their child.  Other adults were just amazed that the child was asking that kind of question in the first place.
""Oh, My beloved child," I can just hear Christ saying.  "Your faith, your heart."  As this dear momma brought this story to me I could hardly keep the tears from streaming down my face.  I can SEE in her Christ at this tender young age.  Boldness. Speaking frankly.  No fear.  This is a child that I can SEE being a missionary, wherever God places her.  Today, I am blessed by a child. 
Precious Savior and my Redeemer, help me to be bold in my faith like a child.  Forgive me for falling short way too many times with missed opportunities.  Thank you for children who learn Your word and take the truth and speak it.  In Your name I pray, amen.